Where did the 70 percent solution originate?

For years, I was frustrated by how being introverted caused me to have difficulty relating to people. I could share facts and data, but to have a comfortable conversation was very hard for me. I tried to become more of an extrovert by coming out of my shell. For years I struggled with this as people would make me feel inferior by their response to my efforts. I often came off as somewhat obnoxious as I tried different approaches, trying to solve the problem in my own strength.

It wasn't until I began to come to grips with the fact that not all problems in relating to other people were mine. It was so freeing to be able to stop worrying about my own feelings and be able to see in others the needs they have.

I have dedicated my efforts to understanding the differences in people that can influence my own feelings. By deciding that it is not my issue when a person rejects me, rather their own, I can concentrate on being the best possible friend to the 70% of people who are willing and interested in relationships with people like me, while still having value for the other 30%. I have learned to be a relater and an explainer, as needed by the type of person I am trying to communicate with. This is the secret that I want to share through this blog.



Let's talk about this together and live out the solutions that 70% of the population respond to - and learn to live with the 30%!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

AAAAHHHHHH! Too many nice people around!

So I am at a sports conference in Chicago.  All around me are representatives from professional sports teams, and various non-profits from around the world who are looking for funding sponsors, spokespersons to talk about them in the press, and overall just some good ideas on how to use sports to impact the culture.

For the most part, the people who came together have similar presence - very nice, very talkative and interesting.  So they all find ways to meet, and to share ideas and to get to know each other better.  Remember, I am most likely to be an introvert, but try to stretch myself to talk to those who might be willing to communicate with me.  But there were too many.  I found myself closing off, seeing that they could take care of each other without me.  Wow it was so easy to back off and just watch. 

I don't know if I had anything valuable to add, but I certainly had very little motivation to try.  The self motivation needed just sank away with the people all around me getting along so well.

So I guess the short thought on this is what do I do in this situation?  I don't feel like talking, and everyone is engaged, but there are needs that my organization has that can be met by these people.  DO you think the solution is to break into the conversation groups already forming, or what?
Posted by Chris Byrd and Friends at 7:01 PM

1 comment:

  1. UnknownOctober 8, 2010 at 6:54 PM

    It doesn't look like my previous post made it so here is take two.

    I have been in a similar situation. It is very hard for me to get out of my shell at times but if work is depending on you then you have to dive into the conversational pool. When you do it is better to swim than sink. :)

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