Where did the 70 percent solution originate?

For years, I was frustrated by how being introverted caused me to have difficulty relating to people. I could share facts and data, but to have a comfortable conversation was very hard for me. I tried to become more of an extrovert by coming out of my shell. For years I struggled with this as people would make me feel inferior by their response to my efforts. I often came off as somewhat obnoxious as I tried different approaches, trying to solve the problem in my own strength.

It wasn't until I began to come to grips with the fact that not all problems in relating to other people were mine. It was so freeing to be able to stop worrying about my own feelings and be able to see in others the needs they have.

I have dedicated my efforts to understanding the differences in people that can influence my own feelings. By deciding that it is not my issue when a person rejects me, rather their own, I can concentrate on being the best possible friend to the 70% of people who are willing and interested in relationships with people like me, while still having value for the other 30%. I have learned to be a relater and an explainer, as needed by the type of person I am trying to communicate with. This is the secret that I want to share through this blog.



Let's talk about this together and live out the solutions that 70% of the population respond to - and learn to live with the 30%!


Thursday, September 9, 2010

We lost our Matriarch

So it has been an interesting week.  My wife's grandmother passed away at the ripe old age of 95.  She was a very interesting woman, who brought us all a lot of joy throughout her life, but who for the last several years has been waiting on God to take her home.  You can tell alot about a person by the things that are written about them.  I have put two tributes below that give evidence of a life well lived.  As part of the 70%, or even as a 30percenter who strives to connect, imagine what you would like people to say about you after you have gone.

NOW - LIVE YOUR LIFE WORTHY OF THE WORDS

My Wife's tribute:  One of my best friends just crossed over into eternity yesterday. It thrills my soul for her that all her pain is gone and sin will have no trace near her. She longed to be there for a very long time and now she is free! Nanny, thank you for holding on to your faith through all those years. Your holding on kept me hol...ding on in many hard times of my life. Your smile, your humor, your walk with God, your love for my kids, our long conversations, sometimes laughing and sometimes crying, your "nanny sayings", your beautiful face, and spirit will always be in my heart. I feel truly blessed to have loved and been loved by you. You make me smile. There will come a day Nanny....I will see you again! I love you Nanny. I'll see you directly!

If you have never heard this song, listen to this version by Faith Hill

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DVojyZW6O3I8&h=4925e









My wife's mother also wrote a special tribute:
.
The notice in the paper cannot and will not ever do justice to the woman we honor today and to the life she lived. She faced so many hardships and challenges as she reared four children. Without her not one of us would have made it. She was always so proud of each one of us and was always there for us. Even in our rebellion or when we broke her heart, she was there. She never was one to verbalize her love but in every action she told us that she loved us and accepted us just like we were and she never brought our transgressions up to us again. She was an intelligent, capable, hardworking person and she persevered under so many adversities. She achieved success in her career and was fiercely independent. She was no pushover, not for us or anyone else.


We each have different memories of her because each of us was important to her. Some are funny now that we can look back. I, for one, remember deciding that although I was an honor student, I was not going to graduate from high school without playing hooky just once. My best friend and I did just that and after bumming around all day, eating lunch at the Beacon and just feeling very smug, came home at the “regular time” to find Mom sitting on the edge of my bed asking “Where have you been?”. She caught us before we even got home!! And she had been at work all day!! My friend and I thought she not only had a mother’s “eyes in the back of her head”, we thought she was omniscient too. She took us to the school(HIGH SCHOOL) and marched us up to apologize to the principal for the lie we told to get out of school. He smiled and decided not to punish us because he knew she would handle that. Another funny memory was when Melanie and Kelly talked her into riding Space Mountain at Disney World when she was in her seventies and she was convinced they were trying to kill her so they could have the whole backseat of the car to themselves. As much as she tried when we were kids, she never learned to ride a bicycle and that’s something she always wanted to do. I can still see her as she tried to do it.

She shared our joys and fun; she loved us no matter what we did; she felt our pain and cried our tears with us but she never let us down… not ever, not once.

Proverbs 31 asks “who can find a virtuous woman” and later in the chapter these words:

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,

but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

She has been longing for her heavenly home for a long time and I know her homecoming was a joyous one. As hard as it is for those of us left behind, she is overjoyed. She is with her Lord; she is well; she’s not in pain; she’s reunited with loved ones and I bet she can even ride a bike now.

She never had the recognition she deserved for all that she was but today I rise up and call her blessed and say “ Thank You, Mama”. We love you and we will miss you. May your rewards be great!!

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