Explainers and Relaters

So I have been thinking about this 70% solution, and the solution is this:  Become an EXPLAINER-RELATER. 

This is a concept that I have been investigating in the Bible, as that is a place where I see the 70% solution so well modelled.  Over the next several posts, I will be comparing and contrasting these so you can see where you can improve your approach to others.

An Explainer is someone who communicates with detail - facts, learnings, etc. and they believe that if they can adequately communicate with facts data and compelling arguments, they can convince you of anything.  This is an important feature to have as part of your make up, because there will be a lot of people in your life who respond well to you when you can provide a convincing position.  They have questions and are not looking for feelings, they are looking for facts.  Explainers convince the head of a person.

A Relater is one who is able to connect through shared interests, interesting styles of communication, and the ability to channel feelings as appropriate into a conversation.  This person is able to feel others, and can project feelings in order to convince the heart of others.

You can see how this can be a challenge in practice, when an explainer tries to communicate with a relater.  You may have heard the statement - people don't care about what you say, until they see what you do.  This is the natural position of a relator, and the explainer may try to use words which are not heard through the haze of disconnect.

When a relater tries to communicate to an explainer, they can get frustrated by a lack of receptivity to emotion.  The sense of getting to the bottom line, that alot or explainers have causes them to get impatient with the relater, who is trying to build bridges of trust to convince rather than compelling arguments.

The cool thing about the self awareness that comes from recognizing your own style, is that you can study the examples of those who are not the same as you.  Explainers and Relaters are not mutually exclusive.  Your goal should be to become an Explainer-Relater.  THis is the 70% solution.