Where did the 70 percent solution originate?

For years, I was frustrated by how being introverted caused me to have difficulty relating to people. I could share facts and data, but to have a comfortable conversation was very hard for me. I tried to become more of an extrovert by coming out of my shell. For years I struggled with this as people would make me feel inferior by their response to my efforts. I often came off as somewhat obnoxious as I tried different approaches, trying to solve the problem in my own strength.

It wasn't until I began to come to grips with the fact that not all problems in relating to other people were mine. It was so freeing to be able to stop worrying about my own feelings and be able to see in others the needs they have.

I have dedicated my efforts to understanding the differences in people that can influence my own feelings. By deciding that it is not my issue when a person rejects me, rather their own, I can concentrate on being the best possible friend to the 70% of people who are willing and interested in relationships with people like me, while still having value for the other 30%. I have learned to be a relater and an explainer, as needed by the type of person I am trying to communicate with. This is the secret that I want to share through this blog.



Let's talk about this together and live out the solutions that 70% of the population respond to - and learn to live with the 30%!

Friday, August 6, 2010

So I had a chance to use the 70% today

Went to get my hair cut today.  The three stylists were working quietly on three women, finishing all of them around the time they started with me and one other guy.  Two African American stylists and one white.  So I sit down and my stylist asks - So what can I do for you today? 

What a great opportunity to safely test for a 70 percenter!

I said, a number three on the side, finger cut on the top - leave me some bangs to cover my receding hairline - then I said, and make me a little taller, take off about 20 years, and give me some extra energy.

I could have received any of a number of responses from a sarcastic Ha ha to a genuine funny and kidding comeback - and that is what I got!  She was so very funny and enjoyable to talk to - has two small kids, loves the toys they have for them now.  She loves some strange movies - Hot Tub Time machine, Grease, and Gone with the Wind.  Now, how many people is she going to share that with?  Only someone she considers safe.  How can we be safe?  By being genuine.  Yes, my comments were silly and juvenile, but they opened up a road to a fun conversation for almost 20 minutes, with both of the other stylists joining in.

I had fun and it cost me nothing.  And the interesting part is - if she had taken the "don't talk to me"  route it would still have cost me nothing.  Would have had a quieter cut and a lower tip, but other than that, no biggie!

Anyone else experience something like this?
Posted by Chris Byrd and Friends at 1:12 PM

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